"How old are your kids?"
This is what what the clerk at the grocery store asked me yesterday as I was checking out with a large box of Rice Krispies and bags of mini marshmallows.
"They are 10 and almost 8," I replied, smiling. There was a huge part of me wanting to tell her the kids were not mine.
"Wow, I remember those years," she said."I don't ever remember getting sleep. Good luck." I took my bag, thanked her, and left the store. Then I picked up the the two children I nanny. About to finish 12+ hour day.
Being the oldest of four children I don't ever remember a time I wasn't taking care of other children. My parents both worked very hard so we had babysitters here and there but I also took up babysitting myself. I did it for my siblings and for my friend's siblings down the street. As I grew older into high school and college and had my other ambitions, childcare was always a job I could come back to. It felt very natural to me and it helped pay the bills.
Life, by itself, formed me into a caretaker.
My resume could be longer than the Bible if I really put down all I have done in my 35 years. But to the right eye they will see that every realm I have stepped into professionally has been around caring for others.
Out of college I worked in non-profit and side hustled in customer service, entertainment, and restaurant jobs. Later I went into teaching and also gave it my whirl teaching overseas. Then I became a Certified Nurse Assistant and tried my hand in the medical field for a few years. I have found love and a passion working with the autistic community and in ABA therapy, but it doesn't provide enough income. I've had one thousand adventures to show me that my deepest, and maybe subconscious, desire is just to "take care" of those who need it. I cannot escape it. Believe me, I have tried..
Several weeks ago my sweet cat and I moved out to an eastern part of Orange County. Looking for work around the area I found that there were so many families in need of childcare and also paying a very good rate compared to getting a job at the Trader Joes down the street.
When I started looking at the opportunities, every gremlin was in my head.
"You are 35. Shouldn't you have your own kids?" "You are going to nanny agan?" "Don't you think you can do more than raise children?"
First things first. If I want to survive and thrive living in Southern California I have to have a steady income and one that doesn't cause mental health destruction. When I worked in my office jobs I got nicknames because I was always singing. When I was the 19th employee at GoFundMe, still in the startup days, I was named "The Office Disney Princess." As our company grew, and it did very rapidly, I would still sing but my my role had become much more of a maid than a princess. I knew I wasn't where I was meant to be.
I was created for more than just cleaning up but also playtime.
When I wake up the kiddos I take care of, I sing, We tickle fight, we battle through morning drowsiness, get dressed, and on good days we have a very fun conversatuon over breakfast.. It usually has to do with Minecraft, horses, or who ate the last cupcake. When we come home we do homework and bake or cook together in between their activities. I look forward to doing this work, even if it means getting up at 5am, because I am investing in human beings and those who I truly believe will make an impact on our world.
I wasn't designed to be behind a desk. And when people ask, and I am sure will ask for years, why I don't have children?
I will answer, "I've had many."
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