I was about seven or eight years old.
I don't remember it being Christmas time but I do remember walking into the shop doors feeling astonished. Like I had just burst into Santa's workshop.
My grandma had taken me to the "doll house store." The whole shop smelled like wood and I was convinced that there were little elves that lived inside the walls who had built all these wonderful little things. Little beds, little bathtubs, little bikes with little baskets. I was allowed to pick out one special item to add to the little wooden doll home in her basement. She took me there many times over the years and it always felt like magic.
There was a lot of magic that lived in my grandma's basement. I loved playing silly games and "pretend" down there with my cousins and siblings. We played with really cool, retro toys from the "olden" days, slammed on a piano that we all were convinced we knew how to play, and let's not forget the moderate collection of VHS movies none of us had heard of.
One of which was "Little Women."
My grandmother loved many things. First of all was Jesus. Second was my wonderful grandfather and her family. Next was The Mariners (no matter how their season was going). But a close tie has to be the story of "Little Women."
I don't remember the first time she made us watch the film but I am sure my siblings, cousins and I squawked and whined through the whole thing, and the twenty more times over the course of the years. The movie felt old, boring, and irrelevant. Wrestling, making noise and making up stories sounded like much more fun to us.
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Flash forward to about 20 years later is when I finally understood that this was exactly what "Little Women" is all about.
I won't tell you the entire plot of "Little Women," (because when you get to heaven my grandma certainly will) but it is centered around four young women and their mother during a time of war and turmoil. These "little" women shine individually in their own strengths, bring light to the world around them while also challenging that world and the relationships of their time. What I failed to notice in the first twenty times I watched the film was that these characters also wrestled, were loud, and made up stories. They were in no way perfect, but they followed their hearts and had each other.
My grandparents had five children, 15 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren. Exceeding that, they have adopted children, extended family, neighbors, church members, and strangers whose lives have been forever changed because of these two and the heart of Jesus that lives inside them.
All of us have been through chapters of war and turmoil, and of light. Each of us are so very different, but at the core we feel loved and accepted because we have felt seen by these two. Like the story of "Little Women" our story as a family has ups and downs but through it all, we have each other. My grandma and grandpa always made acceptance and love a priority. Even when it was hard.
My grandma has been in heaven for a couple of weeks now and while I can say that the pain is not yet gone, the hope and love never left. She never asked for fame or recognition, she just did the little things. Always gave to the poor, cared for those who needed it, picked up the phone when you called, always had the freezer full of ice cream, made time to make each and every person she had in her life feel loved, and even "mentally" wrestled you if you had anything bad to say about her Mariners OR her meatloaf.
Real love is a world shattering thing. While it may seem little at times, like the title of her favorite film, or the tiny tea sets at the "doll house store" that she took time out of her day to take me to, nothing Roberta ever did was little. It was and will always be astonishing.
“I want to do something splendid...something heroic or wonderful that won't be forgotten after I'm dead. I don't know what, but I'm on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all someday.”
― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
You did just that. I love you grandma.
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